CCTO
Written on 3 February 2019
There are a lot of things that I wanted to do over the weekend such as continue reading Ikigai, claim my passport at SM Manila, meet with Kevin to celebrate his promotion, and share my 2018 best of skincare blog (which I shall be posting hopefully before February ends!). Yet I am stuck at home because I need to do chores such as laundry, iron clothes, clean the house, and wash the dishes... It's not that I'm complaining though (I have always been a homebody haha), but being in-charged in the house was challenging; obviously, given the time constraints, I wasn’t able to prepare much for us; I only prepped a breakfast and dinner once, on weekends I do the easiest breakfast – buttered toast and scrambled eggs 😆. Most of the time, binibili lang namin sa labas or canned good yung kinakain namin every dinner. I wasn’t also able to do my full skincare routine at night (lalo na yung sheet masking, *sobs*), but at least I have been double cleansing naman. LOL. Nonetheless, I was still able to find joy in doing mundane tasks and though I always feel tired, it was fulfilling because at the end of the day I know that I have been productive.
After heading outside for lunch (and our weekly dose of milk tea), we went home early as I needed to iron clothes and fold the remaining laundry because I don't want to finish late. That same day, naglaba rin ako ng uniform ko from (church) service, so sinampay ko muna siya sa rooftop before ako magprepare para magplantsa. It was less than 2 hours lang naman, I listened to Ali and Victor’s The Linya-Linya Show podcast (Episode 17: New Year Special) to keep me company (their podcast is so funny, you might want to check them out) and also sakto naman, after the podcast, naglive naman si Chanyeol sa Instagram and he was listening to indie songs (uhhhh I really like his choice of music 💚). Almost 6pm ako natapos magplantsa and I went back to the rooftop to get my uniform kasi ipapasok ko na siya sa loob… and it was just less than 30 seconds from opening the wooden gate to the rooftop and hanging my uniform inside where I have this thought,
“Sana bata na lang uli ako.”
Who would have thought that I was able to realize that very randomly?! But seriously, it was kind of nostalgic for me as I came to process what I just thought. Probably the reason why it crossed my mind again was because of a sudden flashback many years ago, around 2007 – our house was newly built back then – when my cousins (from mother’s side) would come here and hang around with us, it was noisy, messy, and fun. I particularly miss my ates, Ate Jack and Ate Chat; they would sometimes interrupt me from studying and either magbi-bike kami sa labas, tatambay sila sa sala, sa kwarto ko, or sa rooftop… maglolokohan, kwentuhan, tawanan, takutan, at minsan iyakan… basically that rooftop has always been filled with a lot of memories.
Both of them have their own families already. Ate Jack lives in Batangas while Ate Chat – although magkalapit pa rin kami ng bahay – we didn’t get to bond as much because she’s also working and of course it is understandable that her weekends are dedicated to rest and to spend time with her family. I’m happy for both them as they grew to become responsible mothers, samantalang dati ako pa nga ang nag-aakay sa kanila papuntang simbahan, LOL. ✌
There are a lot of things that I wanted to do over the weekend such as continue reading Ikigai, claim my passport at SM Manila, meet with Kevin to celebrate his promotion, and share my 2018 best of skincare blog (which I shall be posting hopefully before February ends!). Yet I am stuck at home because I need to do chores such as laundry, iron clothes, clean the house, and wash the dishes... It's not that I'm complaining though (I have always been a homebody haha), but being in-charged in the house was challenging; obviously, given the time constraints, I wasn’t able to prepare much for us; I only prepped a breakfast and dinner once, on weekends I do the easiest breakfast – buttered toast and scrambled eggs 😆. Most of the time, binibili lang namin sa labas or canned good yung kinakain namin every dinner. I wasn’t also able to do my full skincare routine at night (lalo na yung sheet masking, *sobs*), but at least I have been double cleansing naman. LOL. Nonetheless, I was still able to find joy in doing mundane tasks and though I always feel tired, it was fulfilling because at the end of the day I know that I have been productive.
After heading outside for lunch (and our weekly dose of milk tea), we went home early as I needed to iron clothes and fold the remaining laundry because I don't want to finish late. That same day, naglaba rin ako ng uniform ko from (church) service, so sinampay ko muna siya sa rooftop before ako magprepare para magplantsa. It was less than 2 hours lang naman, I listened to Ali and Victor’s The Linya-Linya Show podcast (Episode 17: New Year Special) to keep me company (their podcast is so funny, you might want to check them out) and also sakto naman, after the podcast, naglive naman si Chanyeol sa Instagram and he was listening to indie songs (uhhhh I really like his choice of music 💚). Almost 6pm ako natapos magplantsa and I went back to the rooftop to get my uniform kasi ipapasok ko na siya sa loob… and it was just less than 30 seconds from opening the wooden gate to the rooftop and hanging my uniform inside where I have this thought,
“Sana bata na lang uli ako.”
Who would have thought that I was able to realize that very randomly?! But seriously, it was kind of nostalgic for me as I came to process what I just thought. Probably the reason why it crossed my mind again was because of a sudden flashback many years ago, around 2007 – our house was newly built back then – when my cousins (from mother’s side) would come here and hang around with us, it was noisy, messy, and fun. I particularly miss my ates, Ate Jack and Ate Chat; they would sometimes interrupt me from studying and either magbi-bike kami sa labas, tatambay sila sa sala, sa kwarto ko, or sa rooftop… maglolokohan, kwentuhan, tawanan, takutan, at minsan iyakan… basically that rooftop has always been filled with a lot of memories.
Both of them have their own families already. Ate Jack lives in Batangas while Ate Chat – although magkalapit pa rin kami ng bahay – we didn’t get to bond as much because she’s also working and of course it is understandable that her weekends are dedicated to rest and to spend time with her family. I’m happy for both them as they grew to become responsible mothers, samantalang dati ako pa nga ang nag-aakay sa kanila papuntang simbahan, LOL. ✌
The second photo was quite a struggle since we wanted to take a picture of just the three of us, but unfortunately no matter how hard we try, these kids just always wanted to be in the frame 😅
It was during these times that I’m still amazed at how
time runs so fast. Before, I cannot wait to graduate college, get a job,
earn money and buy the things I want. Now... almost four years after, I feel like
I just wanted to go back to the time where all I’m worried about are the next
day’s assignment, recitation, project, and all other school-related stuff. Gusto
ko na lang din bumalik sa mga panahong naghihintay ako dumating sila ate sa bahay para masaya lang, kahit na istorbo sila sa mga ginagawa ko dati to be
honest haha (out of the three, I’m the most studious, they can even attest to
that!), I just wanted to go back when life was not as complicated and harder
than this.
Admittedly, I think I’m at the point in my life where I feel
lost and I don’t know where to go next. My mind is starting to clutter and I’m
thinking of a lot things that I wanted to do, but I feel lost as to where to
even start... or maybe, just maybe, I’m just afraid because I have always been
in my comfort zone the whole time and that I was not able to explore much as I
have told myself otherwise years ago.
I miss the times where all I think about were simpler
things… but then again, what’s the point of getting out of my comfort zone if I
continue on dwelling to those times, right? And so probably, I needed to stop wishing frequently if I
could just turn back time to my worry-free childhood and instead little by
little, find the kind of person I was when I was young, start picking myself up
and try to be that confident again and be more mature and stronger to be able
and willing to take the succeeding risks because life will always be about
getting through it all and moving forward.
Afterall, I’m still in the process of finding my
ikigai. 🙏🌻
