Not so long ago, I can remember how our home is filled with relatives - sharing stories, catching up, hanging out altogether and probably still eating the leftover food from the Christmas celebration. After attending the 6:00 am or 9:00 am church service, we will have a quick breakfast before our relatives, pamangkins, and inaanaks came for their Christmas presents or pamasko. But today, 26th of December, I’m just having a quiet moment alone after spending the day at home with the family and having a simple virtual Christmas party with my high school barkada. This setting may have been impossible before especially during this holiday season but that is just some of the many things which changed due to the pandemic.
For this yearend blog, however, I decided not to look back on those but rather focus on mainly two things I am grateful for.
1. Gift of family and friends
I am mostly grateful that I have survived this year together with my loved ones. Even if I rarely see them physically and bond with them, we were able to keep in touch through the use of technology (thank God 🙏). I am grateful that I have my core circle of friends whom I can always reach out to whenever I have worries and/or even just quick rants and little success stories.
I am also grateful that I have my family and we are all keeping healthy during these hard times. One of the perks of working from home is that apart from lesser stress brought about by commuting is that I get to spend more time with my family. It has always been a breather whenever I feel pressured from my deliverables for the day. I have lost a few of my loved ones this year and sadly we cannot go due to restrictions. I have seen Papa cry for the first time when Lola Lilia (Papa’s nanay) passed away last August. It sucks that he is miles away and we cannot comfort him, but I am positive that he is holding up well. He is strong as always.
2. Gift of time for self-care
This year, I promised myself to at least have more equal time for work, studies, and personal life. Sadly, I do not think I was able to keep up with that. Nonetheless, I am grateful for the gift of time in such a way that I was able to find more time for self-care. The pandemic has not been easy for everyone. As for me, I find myself asking more questions about the things that I do, what I wanted to do, where is my life headed… the queries go on. Until now, I still have a lot of questions rather than answers, but I am grateful that I have the grandeur of time (in a way) to process and digest things through journaling.
Some of you may know that I am a stationery junkie and apart from doing skincare, I see journaling as a self-care method because it helps me relax and be comforted whenever I write my thoughts. I do open up to my closest friends, Kevin, and Mama, but it is just so liberating whenever I get to write it and see the words inside my head being released in a piece of paper. That is why I’ve been fond of posting time lapses of me updating my planner or writing in my journal. 😉 Journaling has been one of my outlets especially when there are things that bother me and I can say that it is one of the reasons why I survived 2020.
I recall myself during the start of the year being positive and hopeful. But eventually, COVID happened and I was not able to fulfill all the things I wanted to do and promised to myself. At the end of the day though, I have nothing but gratitude to the Lord for letting me get through 2020. I have always been trying my best to focus on the things I am grateful for rather than dwell about my worries and the questions in my head which were left unanswered… cliché as it may be but I am a believer of the phrase “everything happens for a reason”. I know someday I will be able to see the light of this long, dark, and scary tunnel, but for now, I guess I just have to hold onto my dreams, continue to be grateful, and carry on.
Kinaya ko ang 2020, kakayanin ko ang 2021.
Sana ay ikaw rin.
Abby ✨
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