“Here's to powering through 2024 with new beginnings.” – a line from my last year’s blog.

Suffice to say that I have powered through 2024.

“Live in this moment and love with no restraints. Realize that taking life slowly and absorbing things is not wasting time.” (Climate by Whitney Hanson)

I kicked-off the year attending Coldplay’s Music of the Spheres World Tour with no other than my best friend and Coldplay buddy, Jasmine. It was surreal! We patiently waited since their last concert during 2017, and I am elated that we have scored our tickets and fulfilled our promise to attend the next Coldplay concert. I guess this will always be our thing. 😉

Meanwhile, just when I thought that EXO-tingi is over… apparently, it isn’t. Hahaha. 😆  Starting off with Baekhyun (April 2024) – through which I am lucky enough to witness the send-off, he is so playful and his energy is unmatched! Next EXO-tingi was last June 2024 for Suho's solo concert – I love the live band! I also got tad emotional when Suho cried on stage, our soft-hearted Junmyeon. 😪  It was also my first VIP experience with Kyungsoo’s Bloom Fan Concert last September first - his singing voice is very much better in a live setting, truly a bang for the buck. Onto the next month (October 2024), I am with my “new” concert buddy this time, Jenica, as we scream our hearts out during Chanyeol’s Cityscape Tour. It was also a great timing because my new phone arrived the day before the concert. Last but not the least – Chen’s Beyond the Door Fan-Con last November was another memorable experience for me as an EXO-L. He’s super game and funny, I love his interactions with the PHIXOS, but most of it all – I am in awe and mesmerized as I watch and listen to him sing, his power vocals are 💯. 

I also shared a few events with my closest friends this year: got emotional on some scenes when I watched Miss Saigon (superb cast and production!) and One More Chance (the incorporation of Ben&Ben playlist sealed the play very nicely). Of course, as much as I could, I will not miss out any comedy-related shows this year. It was my first time to see Atsuko Okatsuka’s live stand-up (thanks for the reco, Jassy!). Of course, we watched The Absolute Mega Best of Comedy Manila – it was a solid three hours of laughter. We also attended The KoolPals Anniversary comedy and music festival which was truly one for the books. This year, I also met podparents Jim and Saab and podninong Ali and professor Manny when we went to their live podcast recording at Linya-Linya HQ. I enjoyed strolling in UPD and (first time) eating at Mang Larry’s Isawan with Jassy and Ate Joy after the live recording.

“Learning leads to growth. Growth brings happiness.” (When Things Don’t Go Your Way by Haemin Sunim)

One of the highlights of this year is trying spin class. Thanks to my enabler officemate (hi, Nicole!) who encouraged me to book classes in Ride Revolution – it was so satisfying and a no-brainer stress reliever after a long day’s work! My first session was painful and took me a week to recover (lol) but hey, what matters is me still showing up during the most difficult times (iykyk 😂) and I’m proud that I did. 👋

Speaking of showing up during the most difficult times, best believed I did that too at work – as I am expected (and compensated hahaha) to. I have to say that this year, I get to fully grasped and appreciate my team and the department I belong to. We bonded outside office hours more this year which further strengthened our working and personal relationships. I am proud to have contributed to the success of GCIB and be a part of the OG team organized by my Department Head. I feel privileged to have witnessed our team's growth since I joined last 2019. This year, I celebrated my 5th anniversary at MUFG and will always be grateful for the experiences, challenges, and memories I have created with my workmates. 

“Refocus on the things that make you feel powerful not the people that robbed you of your strength.” (Home by Whitney Hanson)

And so, I did.

This year, I decided to continue the healing and recovery process by spending more time with my core family and friends and getting active in church. I am grateful that despite my busy schedule, I get to spend some quality time with people who matter the most, sees my worth, and truly understands me. I intend to keep my circle intimate and close this time, I find solace and I feel my truest self whenever I am with them: no judgments, just a safe space. 

This year, I have been more intentional while allowing myself to continue processing and acknowledging my feelings. This year, I have been more carefree while still being mindful. I have been more honest with myself while still being reasonable.

〰

I started my 2024 reading Michelle Obama’s Becoming and now as I conclude my 2024 YE blog, allow me to share this wonderful passage: 

“Becoming isn’t about arriving somewhere or achieving a certain aim. I see it instead as forward motion, a means of evolving, a way to reach continuously toward a better self. The journey doesn’t end.”

May we welcome and journey 2025 with positivity and light, with proper intentions and with God’s grace so that we continuously aim for a better self as we are all in the process of becoming.

Magpapatuloy,

Abby 🌻

123, 2023

As of writing, it is the last day of the year, December 31, 2023 – fondly coined as “123123”, iykyk. 😉
I feel like this year also turned as fast as 123 just like how the previous years have been. Although, there was a phase that the months seemed slower and nights seemed longer. Despite the challenges and a plot twist, I am still choosing to look back to a year of unexpected turns and highlights.

Abby, senpai era 😝

It was 2019 when I applied for graduate school and barely had a month to review for the admission test. Honestly, I am not expecting that I’ll pass and so I am overjoyed when I received a congratulatory email confirmation. Since then, I said to myself that I will never waste the opportunity given to me since earning another degree has been a long overdue project of mine.
 
I thought entering graduate school will be easier. However, I realized that it was more challenging given the uncertainties brought by COVID. It was never a walk in the park and along the journey, I have given up a lot of my leisure and personal time just to meet all the academic requirements. Hindi madali lalo pa’t hindi ako matalino, I must make extra effort because the subjects are pretty much math intensive. There have been sleepless nights, a lot of overthinking, a lot of crying, and a lot of comparing my progress with others… Nonetheless, I continue to move forward. “You did not come this far to only come this far”, as told to us by one of my favorite professors. February 18, 2023 will always be a memorable one for completing my Masters Degree in Applied Economics. Salamat, La Salle! 💚

Living her PHIXO era

This year, my fan girl mode got reactivated due to various concerts/fan meets held in Manila. It started with EXO-SC’s Fancon in Manila (May), K-Pop Overpass Music Concert (June) – Baekhyun was part of the line-up of artists followed by On Festival Off: Manila – saw an emotional (cutiepie haha huhu) Suho entering the stage, and the most recent one was held last December 16 which was Penshoppe x Chanyeol Fan Meet. Ang hirap kapag tingi-tingi, to be honest, since it’s costly! While those moments are worth it, I plan to be more intentional when buying tickets next year and (hopefully) prioritize those other EXO members I have not seen perform live – cannot wait for Lay Zhang’s concert tour.

As part of her “getting some culture” this 2023

Of course, we did not miss the chance to watch the international run Hamilton which kickstarted in Manila! The tickets are obviously expensive, but the view is good and I enjoyed the performance of the superb cast. We’re also able to watch Rachel Ann Go perform as Eliza Schulyer-Hamilton.

Meanwhile, watching The Last Five Years was quite a spontaneous one because Jassy just recommended it to me previously and coincidentally, the show dates got extended until November – I feel the need to grab those tickets LOL. While the storyline only involves two characters all throughout – the dialogues were beautifully executed and I was able to grasp the story, very much relatable too. After which, we had a filling dinner and delicious hotpot at Jiang Nan and coffee at nearby Starbucks for catch-up and post-play discussion. 😅

 

Being a Pinoy stand-up comedy "advocate"

Was glad to watch more live comedy shows this year with a total of four! First is the Absolute Mega Best of Comedy Manila which features four main headliners namely Red Ollero, Victor Anastacio, GB Labrador, and James Caraan. Last August, I invited my other friends to watch the solo shows of Red and Victor which are Mabuhay is a Lie and Birthday Set, respectively. I capped off my birth month by watching the Best of Comedy Manila with some of my closest friends – Eunice, Keene, Rods, Jassy, and ate Joy. Proclaiming myself as an advocate since I introduced them into watching the local stand-up comedy scene. 😂 Looking forward to watching more comedy shows with them next year.

Witnessing celebration of love

During the last quarter of 2023, I attended my college friends’ weddings. Kim and Tom’s wedding at the Manila Cathedral was so simple and elegant at the same time. I am also very much delighted to be part of the entourage for Ange and Resty’s wedding this December. Last August, I was also invite to my former officemate, Lisa’s wedding; we also used the time to catch-up and share a good laugh with her and other officemates, Lau and Kevin.

This year I am not too sentimental about weddings as compared with the last. I am happy for for my friends who finally met the love of their lives and finally taking the next step. I am honored to be a witness as they enter a new chapter of their lives, I continue to wish them better years ahead as newlyweds. 💫

 

Abby, in her traveler era ✈

Started my 2023 with a domestic travel, Cebu-bound! I had a day exploring the city while spent the next three days to Bantayan Island. It was so calming to be staying near the beach, the seafoods are also cheap and delicious. There was a storm during our trip but thankfully we did not experienced any delays or other mishaps. 

Early May 2023, I also visited the beautiful provinces of Dumaguete and Siquijor – thanks to Cebu Pacific Ceb super pass vouchers LOL. The beaches in Siquijor are also to go for. My experience in Cambugahay falls was one for the books, many thanks for our tour guide for ensuring that I’ll be safe all throughout the activies. 

Japan was my first international travel after the pandemic, I had fun flying solo! I was freezing as soon as I step outside the Kansai International Airport towards the express train. I stayed there for almost a week and the experience was truly memorable, so much so that I wanted to go back to Osaka to explore more places and experience it differently this time. 

Little did I know that booking that Singapore trip early on is just timely as I was going through “that” phase in my life. I went back to Singapore last September as a solo traveler this time – it was a much-needed time off; the trip contributed to my healing process and self-discovery – as cliché as it may sound but believe it’s true. I had a liberating time away from home and was able to get a breather too.

Always a work in progress

Kung si Taylor Swift ay may Eras Tour, ako naman ay may end of an era. 

(This is an attempt of me trying to make a joke amidst a sad situation. Yes, just like Matthew Perry.)

Moving on from a long-term relationship is never easy but as always, kakayanin. This year was not my best but I definitely learned a lot from it. First is protecting my peace – I avoided things and people so that I won’t be triggered. Second is related to the first one which is “out of sight, out of mind” – this one is pretty much straight forward. Masakit man sa una ngunit alam kong kinakailangan ko itong gawin para sa aking sarili… ako naman ngayon. Lastly, I am still in the process of healing and a work in progress. Quoting one of my favorite local store, Linya-Linya: May katapangan sa pagsisimulang muli.

Salamat

Salamat sa aking mga kaibigan na patuloy na umiintindi at umaalalay sa akin. 

Salamat sa pakikinig, sa pagsama, sa oras, sa presenya.

Thank you for the assurance.

🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱

Thank you, next!

I also celebrated my 30th birthday this year (#AbbyBirthday hahaha). I started my day serving the Lord and saying my gratitude and wishes. I always hope and pray that he continue to heal and guide me - it has been a crazy journey lately but I chose to accept, readjust, and realign. Every day I learn to get through. 💛

As to conclude this meaty blog (thank YOU for even reading up to this point 😄), allow me to quote an excerpt from one of my favorite books for 2023, Charlotte Freeman’s This Was Meant To Find You (When You Needed It Most). 

New Beginnings

I know that you’re wondering if you will find happiness again, but I also know that you can. I know that it’s hard to see past this moment, but this moment is not forever. If people can be temporary in our lives, then so too can feelings. Feel everything you need to feel at this moment, as this feeling is necessary for your healing. Hold onto the hope that you can carry yourself through this pain and uncertainty, until the days feel a little brighter and your soul feels a little lighter.

Here's to powering through 2024 with new beginnings.

Magpapatuloy,

Abby 🌻

The Month After

It was July 17 (Monday), when I finally had the courage to let go of one of the most important aspects I treasure the most. It was hard and I am still hurting at the moment; admittedly, one month after, I am still feeling various emotions and I have been holding off facing acknowledging them. Usually, writing has been my escape whenever I have a lot of thoughts in my head, but until recently, I found myself evading it because maybe I am just too scared to put it into words… but then I know eventually, I would have to.

Who would have thought that we will be ending the relationship that we’ve built for almost ten years? Who would have thought that things are not okay and apparently, we cannot save the relationship? Who would have thought that in the end, I will be left alone and broken?

Had I known earlier, maybe the situation could have been different, maybe it could have been better. Siguro, hindi ka naunang sumuko. Siguro naayos pa.

Had we been honest in the first place and have an open communication, we would not have been too much affected with those unsolicited advices from strangers or friends who probably know a small fraction of our real relationship.

Had we been better in the relationship, maybe things are still fine and we’re on the right track while still saving our individuality and differences. But cliché as it may seem, some good things must truly come to an end, I guess.

While you’re at your own, reaching one goal over another, discovering yourself one place at a time… here I am patiently waiting for you to go home and still long for me. Here I am distracting myself into thinking that all these is just a phase and we will be okay – that you’ll still be in love with me and that I am still a part of the future that you’re building. But then, actions speak louder than words and I am a fool by still believing those things when I know you cannot commit and too afraid to.

Inasmuch as I wanted to hold-on and fight for the relationship, it just cannot be one-sided. I can feel the sadness, the relentless thoughts, the silences have been uncomfortable, things were now different. Inasmuch as I wanted to love you more and continue to be better and make-up for those moments, you’re unable to appreciate and see them all. I have also been trying – I have been trying ever since that conversation but then, inadvertently, I saw you slipping yourself and zoning out away from me. It pains me to think that you don’t love me the way that you do and it pains me more how you’re happier without me. Inasmuch as I wanted to go on and make life with you, I cannot do so knowing that you are not on board. 

Inasmuch as I love you, I also love myself that I need to let go because I have been losing my self-worth and I have been doubting myself already.

You may have given up on me but I know that I cannot give up on myself.

Kaya sa pagkakataong ito, pinipili ko ang sarili ko. Papanindigan ko ang sarili ko.

Kahit masakit, susubukan ko pa ring magpatuloy.

I need to regain my self-worth.

Never Forget 2022

 

Happy 60th of January 2023! LOL. 😆 

It was only during mid-January when I get to have time reevaluate and assess all the things which transpired during 2022. It was a year of hope. For almost the first half of the year, I remain hopeful - just as how my other friends were. When the campaign period for the 2022 Presidential elections kickstarted, it seems that all hands are on deck by each and every supporter, battling for disinformation and misinformation, attempting to have a fruitful discourse among those with different beliefs, desperately hoping that genuine change will happen. 💗 One of my highlights of 2022 is joining the Leni-Kiko rally in CAMANAVA area. My parents also attended the event - both wearing Kakampink shirts they bought online. It was truly a memorable experience for me and I appreciate how Mama and Papa stood there for long hours and waited for Leni and Kiko and the rest of the candidates. Nonetheless, it was all worth the wait. 💚 Unfortunately, our hopes were easily shattered when the election results came out... It was truly devastating, a lot of emotions surfaced, and a lot of true colors were seen as well. I was heartbroken for a time, but I need to be stronger than my feelings and time will not stop for us and so eventually we all have to "move on" and "accept the biggest mandate".

(Aside: You can also check out my other blog entry I just recently published about my thoughts on election results which are obviously subjective 😉)

ANG PRESIDENTE - LENI ROBREDO! BISE PRESIDENTE - KIKO PANGILINAN! 🎶

LOL. I didn't realized that I started my yearend (YE) blog with that sad event, hahaha. 😜 Reality hurts, I guess. But as I move on, of course I still have to give good credit to 2022 for a lot of things happened which are now part of my core memory. 

MARCH

Finally met Reese (owner of badass tote girl) and visited her shop, badass shop + cafe

I am very much delighted to see Reese (and her husband, Kim) in person since the pandemic. We all devoured the good food and drinks while catching up and talking about random things — from dogs to hamsters to deeper life/business conversations and reflections, it was never a dull and awkward moment. I came across BTG during the height of the pandemic and I am glad to have been a witness on how her business grow. So much love for this brand. 💖

MAY

Passed the written comprehensive exam!

May 7 is a memorable day because while it was Leni & Kiko's meeting de avance (MDA) in Makati City, it was also my WCE schedule 😝 I woke up early that day and ensure that I am ready before taking up the online exam. It took me more than twelve hours to finish since I have to rewrite my answers in the yellow pad paper and proofread prior scanning and submitting. A few weeks after, I received an email confirmation from our GS coordinator that I passed all subjects! THANKS GOD! Worth it naman pala kahit 'di ako nakatutok sa MDA noon because I was too busy taking my compre. 😂

JUNE

Staycation with my sisters in BGC

Mid-year catch up and celebration with Jassy (my best friend is finally a lawyer!), Jex, and Jia in BGC! We rented a condo place, ate at Mendokoro Ramenba (of course), bought drinks, and spend our first night catching up. The following day, we had brunch at Din Tai Fung and coffee at Because Coffee by Harlan + Holden. It was a much-needed break, never a dull moment with them!

Attending LIVE comedy shows!

We also attended live comedy shows last June and August 💥 THE BEST! It was 2021 when we first watched a virtual comedy show and it was a good timing to be able to watch them live this time just before JR goes to Canada. The stand-up comedy scene in the country is gaining more popularity and hopeful that the trend will continue because the humor is just so different from the typical and mainstream comedy that we're used to.

AUGUST

Bon voyage, JR!

A bittersweet day as we have to drove JR to the airport because he'll be studying and working in Canada. I know it may have been a long and tough process but I am very much proud of him for being brave enough in stepping out of his comfort zone by being away from us and trying their luck overseas. ☝ Of course, we have to bring in Koko with us too - he must be present to this family event hehe. 

OCTOBER

Salamat gid, Bacolod!

Bacolod was my first domestic flight since the pandemic and it is also my first time to visit the City of Smiles. It was truly one for the books as this is also our first travel together. 💜 We rented a car so that it is easier to drive around and navigate the city plus it is more convenient too. The Ruins became an instant favorite for me because it was so beautiful! And of course, we had to dine at Aida's in Manokan Country and taste the legit Bacolod chicken inasal. Legit na nuot sa sarap talaga!

DECEMBER

DECEMBER aka A MONTH FULL OF GANAPS and the moment my social energy was put to the test hahaha! Aren't we all, LOL. 😜 Kidding aside, I just happy to be a part of all these and it was just as timely too given that COVID restrictions are mostly lifted and we can finally celebrate and meet in person. It's always a better moment to have good company. 💯 It was refreshing too.

💙💙💙

Just as the previous years, 2022 is a mixture of emotions. But then, I believe I have finished strong, all thanks to my support system and to God for helping me survive this year.

There are specific events and conversations during the second half of 2022 which has been an eye-opener for me. I came to realize a lot of things and probably 2023 will unveil more things for me. I know it can bring a lot emotions (as what I am currently feeling) - it may be exciting, it may be scary, it may be hurtful... it may be just what I needed. Whatever it is, I pray that I can still manage to overcome and work around everything... After all, I intend to me more mindful in protecting my peace this 2023.

Hindi makakalimot, tuloy na magpapatuloy. 🌼

Kinabukasan (10 May 2022)

(unedited)

Martes.

I have never felt so hopeless for my country until now.

 

Kagabi, buong pamilya kaming nakatutok sa TV para sa partial unofficial results. Initially at around 3% election returns, Marcos Jr. leads almost half compared with VP Leni; ganun din si Sara kay Sen. Kiko. Within 30 minutes stats were updated and it still shows the same, nanlalamig ako lalo. I cannot explain but I am not feeling good about the results. We tuned in almost 2-2.30 hours until ako na lang ang naiwan sa sala, Marcos Jr. and his running mate are “winning by majority”. Pag akyat ni Papa, tinanggal na niya ang tarp sa harap ng bahay namin. It was a long night, I slept before 2am chatting with Jex, Jia, Jassy, Eunice, and Keene. Nag-aabang, naghihintay, nagmamatyag. Patuloy na umaasa na magbabago pa ang trend pero to be honest, given the faster turnaround of election returns, I feel defeated already. Sakto, while I was on Twitter, Fr. Fiel hosted a Space where we prayed the rosary, after praying the sorrowful mystery, nagpatugtog siya ng mga kanta, the second one was Rosas – doon hindi ko na napigilan umiyak. Hindi ko maintindihan, ako ay naguguluhan. Hindi ako makapaniwala na isinuka na nga ay kakainin mo pa rin. Walang pinagkatandaan, hindi na natuto. I am filled with rage and great disappointment because this is not the government I deserve. 

 

Nagising akong mabigat ang loob; pagtingin ko ay wala na rin ang mga pink ribbons na nilagay ni Papa sa aming gate at terrace. Mabilis akong kumain ng almusal at naglog-in (buti na lang wfh ako) habang nanonood ng pahayag ni VP Leni na ginawa niya noong madaling araw. It was so comforting, she looks calm pa rin kahit the odds are not in her favor. But most importantly… I feel hopeful again, she did not concede yet. Sabi ko nga, hangga’t hindi sumusuko si Leni, hindi rin ako susuko.

 

Nagpatuloy akong magtrabaho, I really tried but I am preoccupied with thoughts – galit, dismaya, panghihinayang, disgust, frustration. Kaya most of the time today ay babad din ako sa social media at nagbabasa ng mga iba’t-ibang viewpoints, madami din ang biglang nagpahayag ng kanilang suporta kay Marcos Jr. whom I did not saw before *surprise*. Sama-sama kami ng aking mga kaibigan na magpahayag din ng lungkot, galit, inis – well, we tried lifting up the mood sa group chat at times pero it is mostly us sharing our grief. I noticed that I usually my emotions/mood are in denial, acceptance, and anger… sometimes pity.

 

In denial because Leni is an obvious choice but we choose not to. She offered herself but to no avail.

Anger most especially to those like us who are “educated” and “professionals”. All the red flags are there pero bakit proud pa rin kayo? Why did you discarded the injustices transpired during their families’ time? Nagagalit. Nagagalit ako dahil hinayaan na naman nating mapasakamay ng pamilya ng diktador. 

 

Acceptance na I need to move forward and respect the “majority”. Sabi nga nila, people elect the government they deserve… so deserve nila ito. Deserve namin ito.

 

Pity especially to those from the lower classes who rooted for Leni because in a way we have failed them – the government failed us. Pity to those who continue to lambast and badmouth Leni and Kiko because that just goes to show how our society tolerated the disinformation, misinformation, and propaganda all throughout the years. It has been ingrained and infiltrated that they are continuously buying that information.

 

Nakakapagod emotionally at mentally. Parang ayoko na rin umasa sa totoo lang.  

Pero panghahawakan ko ang sinabi ni Leni, hindi pa tapos ang laban ang nag-uumpisa pa lang ito. Patuloy akong titindig sa tabi nila ni Sen. Kiko at patuloy na ipaglalaban ang katotohan.

 

“Ang mahalaga, lumalaban.”

“Mapapagod, pero hindi susuko.”

Magpapatuloy at kakayanin.

Kinaya (ko pa rin) ang 2021

“Kinaya ko ang 2020, kakayanin ko ang 2021.

Sana ay ikaw rin.”

These are the last lines of my 2020 YE blog… I wanted to circle back and happy to report that YES – kinaya (ko pa rin) ang 2021. 

Just Once.

KAKAYANIN. This word has been my battle cry for 2021.

However, 2021 is not the way I have envisioned it to be; I really thought this will be my year, but it was shattered when an unimaginable thing happened – failing one subject in graduate school which is the last three units for me to qualify for comprehensive examination – the end game into getting that MAE degree. I thought I am ready for it, but I was wrong. I thought I can fully accept it immediately, but I spent the whole day doing nothing, crying, and pondering where did I go wrong. That experience was literally fitting for that line from a song, Just Once, “I did my best, but I guess by best wasn’t good enough.” 😔

I am not good enough – it is my first time failing a subject and I thought that I am a failure. I have dwelled onto that for quite a time until one day, I am reminded that I am not alone and I am just as good. Since January 2021 I have been reading Didache (a daily Bible reflection guide) and when I was able to catch up into the readings, I came across the following reflection lines which really hit me hard:

“Believe in your heart that rejections are God’s redirections for your life.”

“What dreams have you been praying for? Just be patient and trust in His ways.”

I am too much holding onto the negativity that I failed to see God’s purpose for me. Those lines are what I needed to feel and hear; with that, I tried redirecting and refocusing my attention and energy to other brighter things and to all of my other small victories. I tried moving forward and doing more effort to do my part until I learn to accept my failure and took it as a motivation to keep going.

The Power of Journaling.

I am forever grateful to my core friends and family (and our fur baby, Koko) for always keeping me sane most especially whenever I feel down, worried, and anxious. There is no other place like home when I am with my family especially now that Papa is home and all of us get to spend more time together (thanks also to the hybrid work arrangement). More than family and friends, my other constant partner is journaling. I have been journaling more this year and was even able to grow my creative channel and meet other journal/stationery-lovers when I joined Always Be Creating Patreon Community last May 2021. I considered it as one of my highlights this year because journaling has been my outlet and safe saven amidst all the adulthingszzz I needed to do. Journaling brings me to a zen state of mind and I am grateful to have time for it. I intend to do the same for 2022. 📒

Twenty-twenty too?

I CERTAINLY HOPE NOT. Parang-awa, awat na (!!!) 

What I love the most about New Year is my optimistic and determined self… I truly wish I can sustain this mindset for the rest of year; if not, I pray for a better me this 2022. I pray that this year, people will be smarter, more understanding, compassionate, and blessed. Ultimately, I am manifesting that this year will be better for all of us… lalo pa’t #LENIKIKO2022. 💖💚 Please please vote smarter and remember that #neveragain #neverforget.

On that note, allow me to share this quote from Linya-Linya to end my 2021 YE blog, “Kahit gaano man kahirap, panghawakan ang pangarap.” Kung hindi man maging madali ang 2022, kakayanin pa rin at kakayaning muli… para sa pangarap. 🙏

Kinaya ang 2020

Not so long ago, I can remember how our home is filled with relatives - sharing stories, catching up, hanging out altogether and probably still eating the leftover food from the Christmas celebration. After attending the 6:00 am or 9:00 am church service, we will have a quick breakfast before our relatives, pamangkins, and inaanaks came for their Christmas presents or pamasko. But today, 26th of December, I’m just having a quiet moment alone after spending the day at home with the family and having a simple virtual Christmas party with my high school barkada. This setting may have been impossible before especially during this holiday season but that is just some of the many things which changed due to the pandemic. 

For this yearend blog, however, I decided not to look back on those but rather focus on mainly two things I am grateful for.

1. Gift of family and friends

I am mostly grateful that I have survived this year together with my loved ones. Even if I rarely see them physically and bond with them, we were able to keep in touch through the use of technology (thank God 🙏). I am grateful that I have my core circle of friends whom I can always reach out to whenever I have worries and/or even just quick rants and little success stories.

I am also grateful that I have my family and we are all keeping healthy during these hard times. One of the perks of working from home is that apart from lesser stress brought about by commuting is that I get to spend more time with my family. It has always been a breather whenever I feel pressured from my deliverables for the day. I have lost a few of my loved ones this year and sadly we cannot go due to restrictions. I have seen Papa cry for the first time when Lola Lilia (Papa’s nanay) passed away last August. It sucks that he is miles away and we cannot comfort him, but I am positive that he is holding up well. He is strong as always.

2. Gift of time for self-care

This year, I promised myself to at least have more equal time for work, studies, and personal life. Sadly, I do not think I was able to keep up with that. Nonetheless, I am grateful for the gift of time in such a way that I was able to find more time for self-care. The pandemic has not been easy for everyone. As for me, I find myself asking more questions about the things that I do, what I wanted to do, where is my life headed… the queries go on. Until now, I still have a lot of questions rather than answers, but I am grateful that I have the grandeur of time (in a way) to process and digest things through journaling. 

Some of you may know that I am a stationery junkie and apart from doing skincare, I see journaling as a self-care method because it helps me relax and be comforted whenever I write my thoughts. I do open up to my closest friends, Kevin, and Mama, but it is just so liberating whenever I get to write it and see the words inside my head being released in a piece of paper. That is why I’ve been fond of posting time lapses of me updating my planner or writing in my journal. 😉 Journaling has been one of my outlets especially when there are things that bother me and I can say that it is one of the reasons why I survived 2020. 

I recall myself during the start of the year being positive and hopeful. But eventually, COVID happened and I was not able to fulfill all the things I wanted to do and promised to myself. At the end of the day though, I have nothing but gratitude to the Lord for letting me get through 2020. I have always been trying my best to focus on the things I am grateful for rather than dwell about my worries and the questions in my head which were left unanswered… cliché as it may be but I am a believer of the phrase “everything happens for a reason”. I know someday I will be able to see the light of this long, dark, and scary tunnel, but for now, I guess I just have to hold onto my dreams, continue to be grateful, and carry on.

Kinaya ko ang 2020, kakayanin ko ang 2021.

Sana ay ikaw rin.

Abby ✨