I thought for once that forever is with you
But now I am tired thinking of what to do
Because now you’ve left me all alone
Forever is gone, no comfort zone.

I’ve tried my best to be okay
So that people around me will have nothing to say
I’ve tried my best to put a smile
But often times I see myself cry.

I am frustrated knowing that
Everything’s finished – all that we’d had
I feel like I can go no more
But still here I am, opening up that single door.

I miss, I missed… and I am still missing you
Desperately hoping that you are feeling the same way too
I am trying my best to let you go
Because consistencies and possibilities are getting low.

I always wanted to go back...
Back when you are filling all the things I lack
I always wanted to hold your hand
But it seems like right now I can’t.

Now I know, that maybe this is the time to let go
I hate it, this fragility and weakness I show
Till now… I am holding on to that single thread
Continuing fighting, even if the light shouts red.

(originally published in another platform on April 20, 2013)

Under the Pavilion

I saw you standing under the tree,
I see no one but you, I’m happy
As you hold my hand I feel eternity
As I stare at you, time becomes an infinity.

“I’ll see you later, I love you”, he said
Under the pavilion where the sun rays were not shed
I gave him my sweetest smile as I said, “I’ll wait for you”
and see him go as i said to myself “…and I love you too”.

It was 5 o’clock and I bid my friends goodbye
Then I went outside as I see the sun slowly die,
Rain poured slowly, I feel the sense of misery,
Then all those were gone when I saw you waiting for me.

There it goes your blue umbrella, soaked in wet
“I wish time would go slow”, as I said in my head…
We were under the pavilion, letting and seeing the rain pour down
You were holding my hand… I realize that I’ve got the luckiest crown.

We were like this everyday, feeling the bliss
When everyone’s not available, I knew I got you, at least.
We laugh together and shed some little tears
I believe we’ve got the greatest cheers.

But everything were quickly gone,
Believing that all has been said and done.
You left me broken and scarred
Exaggerated as it may be, I feel that my whole life was barred.

Everyday I feel numb
Without you here for me, I feel dumb
It seems like I’ve lost half of my life
Nevertheless, I’m planning to kill my soul with a knife.

Last night I looked at myself in the mirror,
I was horrible, I can’t even see my spirit soar.
Thinking about you, about everything, about us
I was crying, “I’ve done everything”, it is not just.

I was living a ‘new’ life, so to speak
I am rebuilding myself, happiness is what I seek.
I began learning how to smile
And not to isolate myself and socialize, even for a while.

It was 2 o’clock in the afternoon,
As I see that the sun is not shining anymore soon
There I find myself under the pavilion, waiting.
Then afar I saw a man with a blue umbrella, walking…

(originally published in another platform on April 20, 2013)